Friday, July 31, 2009

Ohhhh...this is FUN!





These blocks are much easier than I thought they were going to be! They are fun, and would be really FAST -- if I didn't have so much "help" from a certain feline friend.





What's on my Wall?

I started piecing the Kaffe Fassett's Shirt-Stripe Boxes quilt last night. I'll have to do some math here - - the pattern calls for twenty 9" blocks, fifty-three 6" blocks, and one hundred thirty 3" blocks. I was able to get 4, 3, and 9 respectively, out of one shirt. (I know there's only 8 three inch blocks there - but I did a major boo-boo trimming one down, so it's in the scrap bucket now.) Of course, I reserved the back of the shirt to piece the quilt backing. I wonder how many shirts I'm going to need?

Here are the HST's from Lucky Stars. I decided these were not going to make a good border - - actually, it was a decision by committee (thanks QNIC GIRLZ!) I think these are going to become a doll quilt.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Flimsy Finish - and Thrift Store Finds

I finished my Lucky Stars top yesterday. I don't have any plans for it yet - - and no one to give it to - - so...it will probably go into my box full of finished quilt tops. (Shame on me!) Oh, and if you'll look to the bottom left, you'll notice you-know-who getting in on the shot. Such a diva!


I did a little thrifting yesterday, and today. I got some shirts for recycling, a little china iron, and some thimbles. But first - the cat.


So you're probably wondering....what's she doing NOW?!?!?! Well, Anita's blog "Bloomin' Workshop" inspired me with her July 28th post. I MUST make this quilt. The pattern is found in:
...which I was able to borrow from the local public library. How great is this quilt?!?!?! I can't wait to get started on it! I think I'll make mine a third wider, because it looks out of proportion to me - - just hope I can find enough blue striped shirts!

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Audio Visual Speech I gave this morning

I gave a speech using Power Point this morning. I think it went well - I think I'll get a good mark. (I'd better - - or some old man is going to "fall" down a flight of stairs at University College tomorrow!)




The Royal Canadian Mint recently released this coin. Only 30,000 will be minted. By now, you’ve already recognized something unusual about this coin. It is shaped like a guitar pick. The circle in the centre represents the rosette & sound hole of an acoustic guitar, and the hologram represents the six strings resonating after a chord is strummed.


This coin is commemorative of a particular guitar named “Voyageur”, the culmination of what has come to be known as “The Six String Nation Project”.

The guitar is constructed of 63 different pieces of wood, bone, metal, and stone - - each representing the diversity of Canadian culture. Every province and territory is represented in the guitar.
Writer and broadcaster Jowi Taylor first conceived the project in 1995. It took 11 years of research, planning, community consultation, and material gathering before the guitar was finally constructed.



“The ongoing mission of Voyageur …is to encourage Canadians to tell the story of Canada from a multitude of perspectives, to know and embrace our diversity as a kind of commonality…”

I was really intrigued and excited about this idea. I’d often heard of Canada’s culture described as being a “cultural mosaic”, as opposed to the American version of a “melting pot”. But this concept was very difficult for me to grasp--until I learned about Voyageur. Now I could visualize how --just like the different pieces in the guitar, individual Canadians--though completely separate and distinct from one another, coming from different places, periods, and people—could meld together to create something new and whole, and yet-- still plainly different, and having those differences appreciated. And just like a guitar can be experienced in unique and separate ways – whether one plays it, hears it, or just holds it - - Canadians can experience Canada.
And just like individual people, the stories behind each of the guitar’s pieces are very interesting—and very important. And I’d like to share just a couple of these stories…. what I’ve learned about Canada and Canadians from Voyageur.



We’ll start in the headstock – which is the focal point of a guitar’s tuning system.
The decorative green diamond-shaped inlay is cut from Jade mined near Dease Lake, BC.
The world's major jade production comes from the gigantic surface deposits of British Columbia. 100 tons of jade is mined annually for export to China. It is described in the Lapidary Journal, as "the newest, brightest, most translucent, greenest, hardest nephrite yet discovered."


Moving down to the neck of the guitar, this decoration on the fretboard comes from Nunavik. It is caribou antler carved by Inuit artist Charlene Watt in the shape of an “ulu” or “women’s knife”
An “ulu” is utilized in applications as diverse as skinning animals, cutting a child's hair, chopping food and, if necessary, trimming blocks of snow and ice used to build an igloo. For centuries the ulu knife has played an important part in the survival of Arctic native people, and date back to as early as 2500 BCE. Because it was believed that an ancestor’s knowledge was contained within the ulu it would also be passed down from generation to generation.



Moving down to the soundboard, three of these four strips of wood pay homage to Hockey--Canada's game.

(1) Seat 10, Row G, Section 321 from the Montreal Forum – home to 26 Stanley Cups – 2 for the Montreal Maroons, and 24 for the Montreal Canadiens. The Forum was a site of 5 events in the 1976 Summer Olympics, including the gymnastics event in which Nadia Comaneci scored a perfect 10, the first in Olympic history.
(2) Wayne Gretzky’s hockey stick – This particular stick was from “The Great One’s” Edmonton Oilers days. His number—99—is the only number to ever have been retired for all NHL teams
(4) Paul Henderson’s hockey stick –
Paul Henderson scored the winning goal of the 1972 Canada-Russia Summit Series in the final seconds of the third period of the final game of the series. This play is widely known as "the goal heard around the world"

Of course, I cannot tell you about every single one of the 63 separate pieces of Voyageur, and some of these pieces aren’t visible from the exterior of the instrument. Some of the inner structures of the guitar were constructed from the charismatic and controversial Pierre Trudeau’s canoe paddle.

Others are fashioned from wood from the childhood home of Prince Edward Island’s Lucy Maud Montgomery, --author of Anne of Green Gables and 19 other novels, plus some 500 short stories, an autobiography and a book of poetry.And one of the most poignant pieces, at least in my humble opinion -- and most aligned with the character and constitution of the Six String Nation Project – is wrought from a rafter of Pier 21 at Halifax. Pier 21 was the point of entry to Canada for over a million immigrants, refugees, and war brides. It was also the departure point for thousands of Canadian soldiers heading off to war.


It is ONE building, and yet Pier 21 could be thought of as an architectural metaphor for the individual stories of EVERY Canadian; The funnelling together of a multiplicity of cultures, with each maintaining distinctiveness; it represents the uniquely Canadian principle of tolerance for diversity.


Now Voyageur travels throughout Canada, on its way to completing the next component of the Six String Nation


– an ambitious photo art project to take 50,000 portraits of different people holding the guitar



– allowing as many people as possible to hold Canadian history and culture in their hands.


~ fin ~
This was another story I heard about on CBC radio. I thought it was soooooooo cool. What I like best about this is that the plan is to include as many Canadians as possible in the project - - and encourages individuals to "hold" Canada in their own hands.
There's more information about the Six String Nation project online, a new book about Voyageur was released last month, and a Facebook group. If you're in the market for the coin - - I wish you luck. It took HOURS of phonecalls and surfing the internet to find mine.


Hubby is having Cat Culture Shock

I don't know if I mentioned this before - - but Gibson is Hubby's first pet cat. (I've had to teach him that cats do not like to have their fur petted backwards) However, he's growing very attached to this little kitten despite his default dislike of cats. Last night, we were settling in for forty winks:

HE: Give me your hand
ME: (gives my hand)
HE: Here ... feel this.
ME: (uh oh, I know where this is heading...)

But he puts my hand on top of the slumbering form of a tiny kitten that has crawled under the blanket, and curled up against Hubby's side.

HE: What's wrong with him? He's shaking and shivering. Is he sick?
ME: No...he's purring.

I've got all thirty blocks for my Lucky Stars quilt completed on Sunday. I think I'll sew them together on the next Quilting Night In Canada - - that's right Gail! No hand quilting that old Birds in the Air quilt this time!

I've been cutting another quilt from scraps, using a pattern that I gleaned from a HUGE stack of magazines that quilty friend Roxene sent home with me last week. Thank you Roxene!!! I had so much fun!!

Saturday, July 25, 2009

This cat is gonna end up a pin cushion!

Itty Bitty took photos of Gibson, taking an interest in my hobby.





This last one looks like his whiskers caught in the feed dogs!
I'm still working on the last blocks of my Lucky Stars quilt. I think I'll be able to get them done tomorrow, while "band practice" is going on three storeys above me.





Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Pick & Choose (UPDATE)

Thanks for reminding me Kim - I forgot to mention that my "Pick & Choose" quilt went to the Quilter Man on Monday. I told him there was no rush, since it wasn't necessarily FOR anyone, or any purpose, so I don't expect it back for a while.

I had gone on a ROAD TRIP to The Marsh Store on Monday with six other quilters. Our intrepid driver was my Sister-In-Law, who has just recently been bitten by the Quilting Bug. (oh boy, she's got a baaaad case of it) We stuffed every spare square inch of her van with our purchases, having taken advantage of the 30% off everything sale. I loaded up on batting, and got fabric to back Pick & Choose.

What's on the Wall WEDNESDAY


I've completed 15 blocks for my Lucky Stars quilt. It seems like I cut enough for a total of 33 blocks. What the heck was I thinking?!?!?! Since they are 15" blocks, I think I'll quit at 30 - so I'm half finished.
I gave another speech this morning. I happened to catch a story about "Mad Pride" on CBC Radio show "Current" yesterday on my way in to school. One of the guests on the program was Geoffrey Reaume. I thought the kids in my class would be interested in this, so I worked my butt off yesterday to do the research and write my speech.
Happy “Mad Pride” Month!

A series of events are taking place this month, all over the world to help people with mental health issues—psychiatric survivors-- celebrate who they are as a means of conquering stigma. Supporters of Mad Pride say that psychiatric labelling leads to segregation, discrimination, and poverty.

Mad Pride is a project of Mind Freedom International, a coalition with local and regional affiliates all over the world. Their mission is to put an end to what they see as a truly global emergency: human rights violations in the mental health system. They believe that countless numbers of people are imprisoned in psychiatric institutions without adequate advocacy, where they endure solitary confinement, restraints, electroshock, experimentation and other forms of inhumane treatment.

One supporter of Mad Pride is York University health ethics professor Geoffrey Reaume. His doctoral thesis was published as a book in 2000: Remembrance of Patients Past: Patient Life at the Toronto Hospital for the Insane, 1870-1940. Just as his book was coming out, Dr. Reaume and a collective of other psychiatric survivors founded the Psychiatric Survivor Archives of Toronto, which is dedicated to preserving the history of people who have experienced the psychiatric system.

Reaume was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia when he was 14. Now, any mental disease, including schizophrenia, is difficult to diagnose. Unlike other diseases that have physical manifestations, schizophrenia is diagnosed by relying primarily on the patient's behaviour and history. There is no blood test, no x-ray, no empirical evidence at all.

Under the DSM IV-TR—considered the psychiatric bible: the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders--a person must exhibit two or more symptoms in order to be diagnosed with schizophrenia. These symptoms include extremely disorganized behaviour, and a decline in motivation. Do you suppose any of us here in this room today could meet that criteria –past, present or future?

Canadian physician Susan Rosenthal recently wrote “the DSM lists and categorizes symptoms outside of any social context” and that “most of the symptoms listed in the DSM describe human responses to deprivation and oppression (anxiety, agitation, aggression, depression) and the many ways that people try to manage unbearable pain (obsessions, compulsions, rage, addictions). “ Dr. Rosenthal believes that most of the psychiatric symptoms listed in the DSM are actually reasonable reactions to social conditions, and blames our capitalist system for pathologizing such reactions to create a profitable and self-perpetuating industry.

Now, myself? I’m on the fence about my beliefs regarding psychiatric illness. I’ve always believed that psychiatry as a science is in its infancy. On one hand, I’ve seen remarkable, even miraculous improvement in a patient’s quality of life when pharmaceutical treatments work. On the other hand, I’ve often seen psychiatric diagnosis and treatment arbitrarily dealt out - - considerations of age, sex, social class, and social connectedness seeming to be most important factors in how the patient was treated, rather than their actual suffering, behaviour, or symptoms.

Others have been a little more explicit in their position. For example, Dr. Thomas Szasz. Professor of psychiatry at Syracuse University denies that there is any such thing as “mental illness”, that it is a man-made myth. In his book “The Manufacture of Madness”, he explains:

“Psychiatry is conventionally defined as a medical speciality concerned with the diagnosis and treatment of mental diseases. I submit that this definition, which is still widely accepted, places psychiatry in the company of alchemy and astrology and commits it to the category of pseudoscience.”

Okay, so, maybe you haven’t heard of Dr. Reaume, Dr. Rosenthal, or Dr. Szasz. But I’ll bet you’ve heard of Michel Foucault. In Madness and Civilization Foucault similarly argued that mental illness must be understood as a cultural construct, sustained by a grid of administrative and medico-psychiatric practices.

Let me cite a few examples of how social and historical context has changed how we as a society have thought about mental illness.

In an 1851 article by American physician Samuel Cartwright, the diagnosis of “drapetomania” was described. In those days, science argued that blacks were psychologically suited for a life of slavery, so naturally runaway slaves were crazy. It may not surprise you that the treatment for the prevention of drapetomania recommended by the good doctor was “whipping the devil out of them”.

In “Making Us Crazy” – Kutchins & Kirk write that soldiers’ reactions to combat situations have been described throughout recorded history. As early as the Battle of Marathon in 490 BCE, Greek historian Herodotus described a case of hysterical blindness in a soldier with no physical injury. In more recent times, soldiers have had the same stimulus of exposure to combat, but each generation re-invents these psychological symptoms.
Civil War: nostalgia
WW1: shell shock
WW2: battle fatigue
Vietnam: PTSD – posttraumatic stress disorder
1st Gulf War: Gulf War Syndrome
2nd Gulf War: acute combat stress reaction


Women in particular should be concerned about how psychiatric illness is viewed, managed and stigmatized by society and science. In her book “Women and Madness” Phyllis Chesler writes: Since clinicians and researchers, as well as their patients and subjects, adhere to a masculine standard of mental health, women, by definition, are viewed as psychiatrically impaired—whether they accept or reject the feminine role—simply because they are women.”

The DSM (remember? The psychiatric bible?) listed homosexuality as a mental illness until 1986. Is it just me? Or does that seem crazy?? Clearly what was at issue was a value judgment about heterosexuality, rather than a factual argument about the nature of homosexuality.

Now, we’ve learned a little about the Psychiatric Survivor movement, questioned whether psychiatry is a science or not, and considered how social and historical context changes society’s view of mental illness. What I’d like to do now is to back up a smidge and tell you a bit more about York professor Geoffrey Reaume.

After a diagnosis of paranoid schizophrenia at age 14, he was twice admitted to psychiatric facilities. He dropped out of high school after only six weeks in grade nine. Eventually, he enrolled as a mature student in history at U. of Windsor, and was very successful, despite having no high-school education, graduating in 88 with a BA in history. He went on to complete his Masters and PhD at the University of Toronto. Now, as a professor at York, among other courses, Dr. Reaume teaches the History of Madness.

And, as part of his interest and commitment to psychiatric survivor activism, Dr. Reaume leads tours of the brick wall surrounding the Queen Street Mental Health Centre in Toronto built by psychiatric patients more than 100 years ago. He believes that the wall preserves the history of mistreated patients, and gives psychiatric survivors a sense of their own history. “It is a symbol of prejudice, confinement, and oppression. By preserving it we can liberate their stories and ensure that the men and women who lived, worked, and died behind the wall are remembered and respected as worthwhile human beings.”

This seems to sum up the objective of the psychiatric survivor movement and Mad Pride - - to promote the idea of mental diversity, so that all people can be respected and treated as worthwhile human beings, and not simply a psychiatric label.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

I came up with a different idea


Playing around with the "bonus" blocks, I noticed that they might make a very pretty scalloped border. I don't know if I'll get enough blocks to go all the way around this quilt, but I thought I'd share the idea anyway.

This photo appeared in the local newspaper this past week. The three ladies on the left are quilty friends Pat, Beth and Jacqui. We belong to a local quilting group, and this spring we made lap-sized quilts to be given to patients at the new chemo unit at the local hospital. I'm not in the photo, but my quilt is! It's the one on the left, which Pat is holding up. I assume the four ladies on the left are nurses and/or support staff in the unit.

Can you stand one more cute kitten photo? Hubby took off his socks after work today, and that darn cat POUNCED on them! He's quite the sportsman, our wee tiger.



What's on the Wall?

The design wall, that is!

The pattern is from Atkinson Designs, and it's called "Lucky Stars". I've got the first four block centres pieced, and they need to be trimmed down to 9.5". I'm going to go shopping tomorrow, so I've added a 9.5" square-up ruler to my shopping list, instead of struggling with a bigger ruler.


I'm stitching these little 'bonus blocks' using the triangles cut off from piecing the block centres. Instead of pinwheels, I pieced them into "broken dishes". Each one will finish at 2.5". It will be fun to play with them as I work on the bigger quilt.








Perhaps we should change Gibson's name to TIGER!


Gibson is quite the hunter. He made his first "KILL" the other night. His prey? A Fenton glass vase of peacock feathers! Oh yes, he was quite proud of himself, as he came padding up the steps with a two foot long feather bouncing in his ferocious jaws and proudly laid it at my feet.


"Mama, is it okay if I sleep here
on this piece of black fabric?"
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Friday, July 17, 2009

Ah Got Duh Low-Down Cryin' Kitten Blu-u-u-es



Okay - I've caved. I've given in to Hubby and Itty Bitty, and named the kitten "Gibson".

Not much going on around here. I'm going shopping with my mom, niece and S-I-L this morning. I'm sure that will be a tremendous source of fodder for exciting bloggage - (they are all CRAZY!!!!)

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

A Finish!



Yes, I even got a label on it.


Hubby and I went to the theatre on Saturday and saw "Brüno". I wrote a speech about it, which went over really well this morning. Despite everything I said about this movie - - it truly is the most vulgar movie I've ever seen in a theatre, and I sure wouldn't take my mom to it....but...well...here's my speech:

This past weekend, Sacha Baron Cohen’s “mockumentary” Bruno took first place in the box office earnings, grossing nearly 55 million worldwide.If you didn’t get to the cinema this weekend, I’ll be honest and tell you that this movie may not be for everyone. I admit I got a little nervous when the ticket taker in the lobby tore my ticket, he directed me “try to enjoy the movie”. During the opening scenes of Bruno, which can only be described as disturbing, graphic, crude, and explicit, some members of the audience left.

AND YET, I urge you to go see this movie, with your mind fully open…… but perhaps for safety, with your eyes half closed. It may help you to know that director Larry Charles, who also directed Borat, wrote several of the funniest and darkest Seinfeld episodes, so you can expect great heaping spoonfuls of satire of political and social issues. I’d like to take this opportunity to tell you about a few other things you may expect from Bruno.

Pre-release the media let us believe that the premise of this movie was somewhere on the continuum between gay-bashing, and pro-gay-rights. But here is the true gist of the story: Bruno is a flamboyantly gay, Austrian fashionisto, who, in order to recover from the fallout of a disastrous incident at a Milan fashion show, losing his television host gig on “Funkyzeit mit Bruno”, and getting dumped by his pygmy lover Diesel, decides to pursue his goal of achieving fame.

But the true messages of the movie are several, and deal with serious world issues.
The film shines a flood of light on areas of society, asking us to first laugh at the absurdity of, for example, homophobia, and then take a breath and say “yeah, this is problematic”.

Bruno is first and foremost a shallow character. His only motivation to do what is good or right is personal gain. All he wants is to be the most famous Austrian since Hitler. And. according to a study from the Pew Research Centre, this isn’t an unlikely or unusual goal. The study revealed that 51% of 18- to 25-year-olds surveyed said being famous is their generation's most important or second-most-important life goal.

And so, to make it in the limelight, Bruno first focuses on the physical. Appearances are EVERYTHING. – a point driven home as the audience is invited to observe treatment at an anal bleaching salon, and snacks being served to Paula Abdul on a naked Mexican day labourer. But when his efforts to break into traditional fame-making film and television industries fail, Bruno tries other methods of winning world renown.

He travels to the Middle East, intending to become a celebrity by bringing peace to Israel and Palestine with a song and a spontaneous agreement between the factions that hummus is good stuff. Naturally, an agreement on the “goodness” of Hammas was not reached. Israeli political consultant and writer Yossi Alpher was one of the participants in Bruno’s peace talks. He wrote about Cohen in his “Jewish Daily Forward” newspaper column saying: “he is exploiting our tragic and painful conflict in the most cynical and deceptive manner. I doubt he’ll give us anything in return

But I disagree with Alpher. I think Cohen made a statement of startling clarity: that the West has no business involving themselves in Middle East conflict until the West has a far better and deeper understanding of the languages, religions, histories, economics, and cultures of the region.

Peacemaking in the Middle East clearly didn’t go well, however, Bruno-- ever in touch with what is trendy--decides to get involved in charitable work in order to achieve his dreams of fame. He consults with identical twin PR girls Nicole and Suzie DeFosset to find out that Darfur is a "hot" charity option, though they were not aware of what Darfive might be.

You can check the twins’ website:
www.duetpr.com and I’m glad I did, because I learned something new. You see, until seeing this movie, it never occurred to me that there were people who actually advised on philanthropy as a means to “create comprehensive and highly effective campaigns that deliver significant, measureable results” …..not to solving tragic conditions of poverty, war, hunger, and disease…..but to, and I quote from the website: “to maintain an enviable reputation within media and celebrity circles.”

On his way back to Hollywood, Bruno makes a side trip to Africa. And taking his cues from Brangelina and Madonna, decides to swap an I-pod for an African baby in order to gain celebrity. Next, Bruno takes his show on the road, and appears on “Today with Richard Bey”—a Jerry Springer type talk show -- to discuss his new role as a gay, single parent. It was very interesting to watch the outraged reaction of the entirely African American audience. One audience member accused Bruno of adopting the baby as a fashion accessory: And this caused me to pause and consider my conflicted personal feelings on international adoptions.

And yes, there are plenty of timely swipes at homophobia and gay rights. In one scene, Bruno and his faithful companion Lutz attempt to get married in California, where the ruling on gay marriage has been recently reversed.

One of the last and most memorable scenes of the movie takes place eight months after Bruno undegoes homosexual conversion therapy, and seeks fame as “Straight Dave” a caged mixed-martial arts promoter in Arkansas.

The crowd was absolutley wild when Bruno and Lutz begin duking it out inside the cage, but ….well, their enthusiasm quickly changed to horrified outrage when Bruno and Lutz began making out. What an interesting statement on the human condition - - we love to see violence, but are disgusted by sex and love. Luckily for Bruno and Lutz – the cage locked the crowd out of the ring, as well as locking them in - - the crowd was dangerously angry.

Besides homophobia, Western involvement in Middle East, the superficiality of fame, fashion, and celebrity, and hipocrisy of humanitarian aid, the movie Bruno also lampoons the Christian right, consumerism, racism, war-mongering, politics, and the shallowness of popular culture.

To concisely summarize the central message I hope I’ve brought to you this morning,
I’d like to quote Rolling Stone writer Peter Travers:

Cohen is on to something essential about our debased culture. His satire is Swiftian — crude, profane, fearless in using ridicule to bite hypocrisy on the ass. Like Swift's Gulliver's Travels, Brüno defies you not to see yourself in its funhouse mirror. And then dares you to laugh it off


Still not convinced that Bruno is a movie you should see? Seriously – don’t you WANT to see a crazy, gay, Austrian who isn’t the Governor of California? (yes, I stole this from the David Letterman show)


Sunday, July 12, 2009

Picture of Perfect Summer Sunday Morning


I spent a perfect summer Sunday morning on the back porch with my coffee, CBC Radio, a book and quilting. Not a cloud in the sky and 22°. The windows were open in the Anglican church next door, and I heard the congregation sing one of my favourite Protestant hymns. I learned from Hubby that it is Orangemen's Day, and reasoned that that was why the church bell was rung for an extraordinarily long time today.

I've got all the hand quilting done on the (still un-named) kitty's quilt. I've got the binding sewn down to the front, and even the label pinned in place. But my fingers need a day or so to recover before I can manage any more hand stitches.

I've been on a bit of a "cutting marathon". Quilty friend Roxene busted her stash of magazines and passed them on to me. I chose several scrappy patterns, and began cutting into my fabrics to assemble kits. I'm looking forward to mindless, blissful sewing and putting my accumulated stash to use.




Friday, July 10, 2009

YAHOOOOO!!!!!!


I also got some good news this afternoon - - the Admissions coordinator for the School of Social Work called and said she was sending me a conditional offer of admission for this September - - conditional on me completing the Speech course with at least a 50%. YAY!!!!!!